End-of-life planning without the intimidation or confusion, for folks who don’t fit the 2.5 kids and a house with a picket fence expectations
The lives of queer and trans folks (yes, hi, welcome!) don’t usually fit the compulsory heterosexuality pattern: fall in love with The Onetm, get married, have kids, live in a house with a mortgage and the nuclear family unit, all very neat and tidy.
Much of the information out there about end-of-life planning–also called estate planning–assumes the cishet pattern as the baseline.
I don’t know about you, but my life is… messier than that. So what do you do when your life doesn’t line up like that? When so many of the laws and expectations not only don’t reflect who you are, but might not protect who you are?
We need end-of-life plans that protect and celebrate our lives and our wishes–In Life as In Death will help get you there.
We have different needs and concerns, in life and in death. Maybe you don’t believe in marriage as an institution, or maybe you have multiple partners to consider. Maybe you are married but you’re worried the powers that be might unravel that. Then there’s chosen family to consider, and pets. (Can you leave your estate to your two cats, your rescue dog, and your five corn snakes? Answer: … sort of.)
Then there’s the question of medical care. How can you ensure your partner has access to you if you’re in the hospital? How can you ensure the hospital will talk to your partner? If you’re on HRT, what will get you that continued care if you’re not your usual self? What about gender presentation in care facilities?
Finding an attorney who gets it and can speak to our worries can feel overwhelming, not mention expensive. But this process doesn’t need to be a convoluted, opaque mess–I can lay the groundwork for you.
The relief of queer- and trans-focused estate planning,
from my fingertips to yours
My name is Ray, and in my 7 years as a paralegal I wrote a lot of estate documents. I sat in with the attorney during client meetings as they talked through their needs–queer individuals and couples, trans folks, poly families, chosen families–and then I enshrined their wishes into estate documents, protecting them and their loved ones. I even led will signings, celebratory and relief-filled events when clients made their documents official.
What it taught me was that although getting your estate documents sorted might seem daunting, it isn’t actually that hard.
You just need someone to explain the whats, hows, and whys.
Presenting! In Life as In Death: How End-of-Life Planning Protects Queer and Trans Folks Now
This 1.5 hour workshop will walk you through what you need to know as a queer or trans person setting up your end-of-life plan.
We will cover why end-of-life documents are especially important for us to have:
- some history of queer and trans end-of-life
- filling gaps in existing laws
- caring for chosen family, friends, pets
- creating our legacy
What things to consider when making your end-of-life plan:
- the default way things go without end-of-life documents in place
- who can do what for you, even while you’re alive
- decisions around end-of-life care
- funeral plans, obituaries, and headstones
oh my
How to get it done:
- health care proxy–who makes which medical decisions
- durable power of attorney–who make which legal decisions
- will–who directs where you want your stuff to go
Not only will we talk about each document and what they do, but you’ll also get templates for each one and a checklist of how they need to be made official in Massachusetts. These are the templates I used as a paralegal to draft estate plans for clients at a boutique private law firm, updated with pronoun options, trans-specific health matters, and other important considerations.
(Because I worked as a paralegal, I’m keenly aware that laws vary by state, which means that these templates are appropriate for use only in Massachusetts. However, they will still serve as guidelines for things to consider if you live elsewhere in the so-called United States. Any Massachusetts-specific information in the workshop will be carefully highlighted.)
Peppered throughout the workshop will be various example scenarios and signals for when you should really no really talk to an attorney. (There is a list. It starts with “if you think you might want a trust” and goes from there.)
We’ll wrap up by reviewing what you should do with your documents once they’re complete, signs you need to update them, and a Q&A.
You are worth the thought and care and love that go into end-of-life plans
In this wild and unruly world, predicting tomorrow or next week or next month can feel like a losing battle. But by the end of this workshop, you’ll have the knowledge and tools to convert some of that uncertainty into definite plans. We’ll demystify estate documents and solidify your wishes, so you can focus on filling your life with the good stuff, like Chappell Roan on repeat and DnD nights with your besties.
A 1.5 hour live workshop covering:
- why end-of-life plans matter to queer and trans folks (even while we’re alive!)
- what you need to consider when getting your documents together
- how to convert your wishes into the 3 key documents: health care proxy, durable power of attorney, and will
Plus templates for your estate documents, and checklists for how each document needs to be signed.
I can’t wait to help you get this sorted.
Questions? Email me!